i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
third nipple confirmed
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
