I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Your dad touched me again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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