dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
