fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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