You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
