somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
