worst night to have a conscience
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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