Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I look better un-naked...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
