Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
