I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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