trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
