yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
