did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need a beard to bite.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
