it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
