i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
