Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
