Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
