I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
