You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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