She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize