college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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