i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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