i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
