Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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