Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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