where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
