More tranny stories later!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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