i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
