made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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