Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
