We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
