i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
