I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
