Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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