i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
