Her vagina should come with caution tape.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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