how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
