I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize