I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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