Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
