I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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