This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
