Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
