Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
