just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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