if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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