i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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