I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
