sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It was confusing and full of hummus
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
