i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
