My sheets look like a crime scene.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she told me i tasted like america
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
